I found this funny in my email today.
NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at
John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to
board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor,
a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of
the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify
the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They
desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes
go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They
use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval
with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said,
"If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math
Instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a
more profound statement ever made by the president.