Another Funny Email

I found this funny in my email today.

TEACHER ARRESTED...


NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at
John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to
board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor,
a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of
the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify
the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They
desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes
go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They
use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval
with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to
every triangle.'

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said,
"If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math
Instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a
more profound statement ever made by the president.

Happy Birthday to Us

One year ago today, I posted this while we prepared for Hurricane Katrina AND I made a looooooooong distance call to Korea to tell Sprout "Happy Birthday". He told me the same...because...he was my 27th birthday present. One of my sisters sent me a birthday card that year that said "boy, you sure take birthdays literally".

So happy birthday, Sprout. You keep me young.

My Inebriated Modem

I think my modem drinks. The last few days she has had some real trouble waking up in the mornings. I normally wake her up around 5:00 a.m. to log on and read the morning headlines while I have my toast and Diet Coke. The past couple of mornings I've had to resort to playing Solitaire because some little hussy stayed out all night. Today, she wasn't even awake when I came home at lunch. I am on the verge of trading her in for a sober model, but she works great in the evenings. It's like HELLO! Do you want to play? Come on...log on...log on...log on! I don't know. Maybe it's my cable connection but me thinks me modem drinks.


In other news, Sprout is still in the Army. I still can't post about his upcoming news, but soon, very soon. I'm trying not to post about him at all for fear of spilling beans but, seeing as how this blog is mainly about him I reckon I gotta mention him now and then. So there, he is mentioned.

Times, They Are A-Changing

Since I'm on a nostalgia kick, here are a couple of "Yester-Year" articles that appeared in our local newspaper on this date, a long time ago.

Fri., Aug. 21, 1931

"Frank Gordy, a reporter for 'The Press,' was slapped in the face at city hall yesterday by James H. Webb, well-known attorney and counsel for the Mobile county seawall commission, as the culmination of references recently made to Mr. Webb in 'The Press.' ...Webb told Gordy that an article printed in 'The Press' was untrue and that Gordy was told it was untrue before it was given publication. The attorney then slapped the reporter in the face. Gordy did not retaliate and later Mr. Webb apologized to the reporter."

Boy, wouldn't you love to see that happen today? Whatever happened to good old fisticuffs?


Tues., Aug. 21, 1956

"A six-cent cut in the price of regular gasoline resulted Monday from a price war among five independent filling stations on the Mobile Bay Causeway. The price war started two weeks ago with the opening of a new service station on the causeway east of Mobile. It trimmed the price two cents a gallon and later reduced it four more cents. ... The five independents were selling regular gasoline for 23.9 cents a gallon, compared with 29.9 previously. ... Regular gasoline was cut to as low as 21.9 cents a gallon during a general price war on the causeway and in neighboring Baldwin County in September and October 1954."

What's really scary about this last article is that I can remember those gas prices.

OMG...Nostalgia

I was digging through some old stuff today and came across a picture from my senior prom in the bottom of a box with a bunch of other mementos. It's still in the frame behind glass because the picture long ago got damp and is stuck to the glass. I pulled it out and sat it on the dining room table, planning later to try to work on prying it loose from the glass without too much damage. Stoicdad saw it and laughed and said "Who is that guy, Andre the Giant?" Yep, he was kind of tall but hey, I'm 5'0" so everybody is tall to me. We only went out a few times but he was a lot of fun. We danced really well together but the truth is, I only loved him for his tux.

Dig those groovy clothes.

Little General's First Day of School

Well, she did it. The Little General went to school. From all reports, she did well. The teacher said she was just a little "chatty". Hmmmmm...wait til tomorrow, lady. I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting year. Her parents were asked to write anything about the child that they thought the teacher should know. Sir Duke wrote "She's the boss. Good Luck". Boy oh boy, I hope this teacher has a LOT of experience.

Here she is with Sgt. York. They have really grown this year. Time sure flies when you have grandkids.

El Cemetery of Suburbia

I went to a funeral last week for a great-aunt of mine. She was buried in a neat little family cemetery that now sits in the center of suburbia. I've seen this little cemetery many times on my way out to the "west" part of town (for the past thirty years or so, our city has grown westerly and what was not so long ago farmland or forest is now Walgreens and Sonics).

I knew that some of my relatives were buried here. One of my great-aunts is related by marriage to the family that owns the cemetery. It's a well kept cemetery, though there is nothing ornate about it. It's surrounded by a chainlink fence with a sign that fronts a now heavily traveled four-lane thoroughfare. Until recently the sign bore the family's name...maybe Hurricane Katrina changed it...the sign now reads "EL CEMETERY"...only the last two letters of the family name still stand. What is unique about this cemetery, besides that fact that I recognize so many of the names on the tombstones, is that it sits so squarely in the middle of progress. We had to park our cars in a Rite Aid parking lot next door, if that tells you anything. The sound of traffic zooming by drowned out the words being spoken of the dearly departed.

The cemetery is no bigger than an acre or two and is only half filled. My ninety-year-old great-aunt who was there to bury the little sister she had raised from childhood, walked with me to her husbands grave (she's been a widow for forty years) naming off all the ones she knew on the way. "Everybody here is related, except for a grave back there by the fence for an old man who had no where else to go". "There's Liggie and there's Bully, and that spot is for me" she said, pointing at the empty space next to her husband.

The family once owned all this land so far outside of town and they were plain old country folk, farmers and carpenters. Most of them still are plain old country folk, though not many farmers in the crowd. Mostly shrimpers, mechanics, heavy equipment operators...good old boys. They are a family of men without much book smarts but with a whole lot of physical strength and grit. The kind of men that build the suburbia surrounding this graveyard. The kind of men you want to fight your wars. Rednecks I suppose, though around here that title does not mean someone ignorant and stupid. It means someone hardworking and honorable...who happens to enjoy life on the weekends.

Until about fifteen years ago, an old church that the family had built stood next to the cemetery but it was torn down to make way for progress. Today I would guess at least 10,000 cars pass by this place every day going to and from work, many of them wondering why there is a cemetery sitting smack-dab in between a pharmacy and a fast food restaurant. I doubt many of those people know that the people buried in this simple little graveyard are the very souls who cultivated the land and built the roads they now live and work on.

I hate funerals but I did enjoy visiting this cemetery I have so often passed by but only once before, as a child, had visited. Knowing that some things stay the same even as the world changes around them is nice. I'm guessing that El Cemetery will be around for a long, long time.

The 2996 Project

Fellow bloggers. Here's your chance to remind the world of why we are at war. The 2996 Project is trying to sign up 2996 bloggers to agree to post an article on their blog about one victim of the 9/11 terrorist attacks in our country and to do this on the fifth anniversary of the attacks, this coming September 11, 2006. It's a neat way to remind ourselves why our young soldiers are fighting to keep us free in foreign lands so far away.

When you sign up, you receive an email with a randomly selected name of one of the victims of the attacks. You get a short bio of the victim and links to search engines for more information. It's easy and it should be interesting. I have already searched for info on my assigned name and have even had an email interview with his young daughter. This seems like a worthwhile cause...at least it will be on my blog.

Check out the links on my sidebar if you think you might want to sign up. Who knows? We might all learn something.