Memorial Day - 2007

Mixed emotions as my son prepares for war on this Memorial Day




Executive Mansion, Washington, Nov. 21, 1864

Dear Madam,

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts, that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.

I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours, to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom.


Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,

Abraham Lincoln

A Note From the General (NOT the Little General)

Michael Yon posted this letter from General Petraeus to the troops. It should be read by us all.

From General Petraeus:

Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, and Coast Guardsmen serving in Multi-National Force-Iraq:

Our values and the laws governing warfare teach us to respect human dignity, maintain our integrity, and do what is right. Adherence to our values distinguishes us from our enemy. This fight depends on securing the population, which must understand that we—not our enemies—occupy the moral high ground. This strategy has shown results in recent months. Al Qaeda’s indiscriminate attacks, for example, have finally started to turn a substantial proportion ofthe Iraqi population against it.

In view of this, I was concerned by the results of a recently released survey conducted last fall in Iraq that revealed an apparent unwillingness on the part of some US personnel to report illegal actions taken by fellow members of their units. The study also indicated that a small percentage of those surveyed may have mistreated noncombatants. This survey should spur reflection on our conduct in combat.

I fully appreciate the emotions that one experiences in Iraq. I also know first hand the bonds between members of the ” brotherhood of the close fight. ” Seeing a fellow trooper killed by a barbaric enemy can spark frustration, anger, and a desire for immediate revenge. As hard as it might be, however, we must not let these emotions lead us—or our comrades in arrns—to commit hasty, illegal actions. In the event that we witness or hear of such actions, we must not let our bonds prevent us from speaking up.

Some may argue that we would be more effective if we sanctioned torture or other expedient methods to obtain information from the enemy. They would be wrong. Beyond the basic fact that such actions are illegal, history shows that they also are frequently neither useful nor necessary. Certainly, extreme physical action can make someone “talk;” however, what the individual says may be of questionable value. In fact, our experience in applying the interrogation standards laid out in the Army Field Manual (2-22.3) on Human Intelligence Collector Operations that was published last year shows that the techniques in the manual work effectively and humanely in eliciting information from detainees.

We are, indeed, warriors. We train to kill our enemies. We are engaged in combat, we must pursue the enemy relentlessly, and we must be violent at times. What sets us apart from our enemies in this fight, however, is how we behave. In everything we do, we must observe the standards and values that dictate that we treat noncombatants and detainees with dignity and respect. While we are warriors, we are also all human beings. Stress caused by lengthy deployments and combat is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign that we are human. If you feel such stress, do not hesitate to talk to your chain of command, your chaplain, or a medical expert.

We should use the survey results to renew our commitment to the values and standards that make us who we are and to spur re-examinat ion of these issues. Leaders, in part icular, need to discuss these issues with their troopers—and, as always, they need to set the right example and strive to ensure proper conduct. We should never underestimate the importance of good leadership and the difference it can make.

Thanks for what you continue to do. It is an honor to serve with each of you.

David H. Petraeus,

General, United States Army

Commanding

God Bless The Military Spouse

I find it hard these days to talk about anything other than Sprout and war. I know my sisters are already getting tired of it but bless their hearts, they let me ramble. And when I'm not talking about it, I'm thinking about it. And always, always, in the back of my mind is that awful "what if". What if they come to tell us he is dead? It's a morbid thought and I was beginning to think that I was bordering on some psychosis by dwelling on it so much. I thought I must be the only fool thinking these things so constantly. The other day, Sproutette told me a story that made me realize I'm not alone and I'm not crazy.

Sproutette works with some other military wives with husbands preparing to go to Iraq or already in Iraq. One of her young co-workers, whose husband is in Iraq now, is pregnant. Recently, Sprout was working and sent one of his army buddies to Sproutette's office to pick up something she had for him, keys or something. Anyway, she said when the soldier walked through the door in his military uniform, her pregnant friend turned toward the door and on seeing the soldier, her face turned as white as a ghost. The girl just knew he had been sent to give her some bad news.

I hate that these young wives (or husbands) have to live in fear of being contacted by the Army that their loved one has been killed, but this story shows me that I am not the only one thinking constantly about this. Army spouses has been dealing with this fear since long before I came along. But to be so young and have this fear seems overwhelming.

Come to I think of it, my own grandmother had to deal with this when my uncle fought in Korea. Of course, back then it was much worse as far as news from the front is concerned. My uncle was wounded in Korea and my grandmother received a telegram saying only that he had been wounded. No details, nothing. For weeks, she tried to get some information from the Red Cross and the Army. It was three months before she finally got a letter from my uncle saying that he would be okay. Grandma was always a hand-wringer...maybe now I understand why.

Well...Phooey!!!

Just as Sprout leaves his pretty young wife for a month of training, they announce this...Gates Extends Army Tours in Iraq to 15 Months. Well, if that don't just tan my hide. More than likely, he will still be in Iraq when we elect his new Commander-in-Chief. Lord, I hope we find somebody worthy.

It's going to be a long, long year (and then some).

I Need Suggestions

I am trying to think of something that I can give to family and friends while Sprout is gone off to war to help to remind them to pray for him daily. I know people tell you that they will pray for something or someone but I also know how I am...I sometimes forget. I'm thinking of something they can maybe wear with his name on it that will constantly remind them to think of him and to pray for him. I've thought of having dog tags made or maybe some of those POW type bracelets with him name, rank, deployed date and such. Is this idea terribly hokey? Anybody got any good ideas? I really want as many people as I can get to pray for him constantly while he is gone. I know that prayer works and more prayer can't hurt. Maybe I could get some of those plastic colored wrist bands printed with "Pray for Sprout" on them. Whatever it is, it has to be something that will instantly remind people to pray for him. I've found a couple of things like this or this...

The only problem with the bracelet is that I wore one when I was in high school during the Vietnam war and they all had names of MIA's or POW's. I don't EVEN want to think of Sprout as one of those.

Well, whatever it takes to remind people to pray for him...if wearing a bracelet does it, swell. For those of us who are forgetful, it may take something a little more obvious... like this

Surprise Visit

I had just gotten home from work last night and was in the bedroom changing when the doorbell rang. I hollered to Stoicdad to "GET THE DOOR, I'M DRESSING" (in my quaint little southern drawl). I walked out to be greeted by my brand-new daughter-in-law, smiling and happy. My tone immediately changed as I wondered why she was here and not far-away from here tending to my son. We quickly talked over each other and she said that since Sprout was out on field maneuvers all week, her mother (who misses her) offered to fly her home for a visit. With her husband's permission, she came back to see us. What a nice surprise.

I grilled her good about Sprout and his state of mind on going to war. She tells me much more than he does. She also doesn't yet read him as well as I do. She said that he and his friends don't seem to be worried about going to war while she and all her friends talk about it all the time. She will learn soon enough that men don't voice their fears as much as women do.

All that aside, she sounds quite happy as does Sprout these days. They are a fit match. She did tell me something funny that the Little General said at their wedding which I had not heard before. The Little General is so full of funny. Sproutette (DIL's new official blog name thought up just this minute)said that after the wedding service, the Little General came up to Sprout and said "I'm so glad y'all got married. Now you will be my uncle for ever and ever." Ummmm...little girl...Sprout is your daddy's brother. That makes him a permanent uncle from day one, like it or not. I guess she was confused as to who became the "new" relative once the I do's were said. Anyway, it's good to see Sproutette so happy and to hear her talk about life with my son with such youthful glee.

Ahhh yes, I remember it well, that first year of marriage.

The Prince & Him (Harry & Sprout Go To War)

Prince Harry ------------------- Sprout
Well, this is a little uncanny. Looks like Sprout and His Highness Prince Harry will be going to Iraq about the same time. I have always had a fondness for Prince Harry. He is only a couple of weeks younger than Sprout and I always thought that Sprout looked a lot like Prince Harry. You gotta admit they resemble each other. HEY! Maybe they were twins separated at birth. Maybe the queen thought that twins would be too much for poor Princess Diana to handle so they searched the world over and found a pregnant lady in the US who, unbeknownst to her, had lost her child during childbirth (even though she was wide awake and didn't miss a thing) and they left one of the royal twins for her to raise as her own. Maybe Sprout is really a prince. I knew it!!! The Prince and the Pauper. Hey? It could happen - they both have red hair and sly grins.

Princess Di and I were both preggos together, heck we might have even gone to the same breathing classes (if I had lived in England 22 years ago and if I were royalty and got to hang out with the crowns and if I had gone to any breathing classes anyhow). Anyway, Di and I bonded during our pregnancies. Well, I bonded. Di just hung out and did pregnant princess stuff. But we could have been friends. We might have shared the same dorca or whatever they call that lady who charges you $700.00 to come and tell you not to forget to breath while you are in labor.

But seriously, Diana died a few months after my mother died and I remember getting up at 3:00 in the morning to watch her funeral and sitting alone in front of the television in our dark living room, quietly weeping. All my sisters admitted to doing the same. Prince Harry was the one who broke my heart. He was so young and so sad. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for boys who lose their mothers young. At least Diana won't have to see him go off to war. Lucky for her.

Maybe Sprout will have an opportunity to save Prince Harry's life while they are in Iraq and the queen will be so grateful that she will make Sprout a knight and we will get invited to have dinner at Buckingham Palace and Sprout will be called Sir Sprout and the queen will let me wear her crown in swimming and everything. Yes, it does sound far-fetched, but it sure beats worrying.